The “national heroes” garden sounded like an elegant solution to the mess that was this past summer, where statues of prominent American heroes were torn down everywhere for no reason other than “peaceful protests”.
“Disneyland, but statues” will probably end up being the most enduring legacy of the Trump administration since whatever pieces of The Wall will either have been removed or blown over by then, and I’m sure they’ll put a nice little plaque at the gate to thank him for it.
Some of the names being considered on this list are a bit much though. Hannah Arendt? WF Buckley? Whitney? Do we really need statues like participation trophies?
Look, if you’re gonna go through all that trouble, you have to pick an American icon that deserves a fucking statue, and that’s Anna Nicole Smith.
No one, and I mean no one, embodied the rise of America’s fortunes in the early 90s, the eventual crash in the late 90s, a brief return in the 00s, and then complete collapse better than Anna Nicole.
Like Anna Nicole, we’ll always remember America as glamorous, with huge cans, a reminder of our best years, seductive the world round.
And, like Anna Nicole, America is deeply sick, falling apart, with little impulse control, collapsing from within, being endlessly exploited.
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